Stuck Read online

  Immediately it made my chest ache and jaw clench. I didn’t want to look like that bastard. But, I knew she meant it as a compliment. My mother had loved my father blindly, able to overlook all of his wrongdoing just because he stayed with her. Not wanting to upset her any further, I forced a weak smile and stood from the bed. “The medicine will probably make you a little sleepy in a few minutes. You might want to stay in bed,” I told her softly.

  My mother returned the weak smile, “Not like I was going to do anything else,” she admitted. “I love you, Jason.”

  I had to swallow the lump in my throat. Would she love me still if she remembered how long I had been gone? Would she if she understood the danger I had left her in? My mother had questioned what kind of parent she was, but what kind of son was I to leave her with my father? It was hard not to dwell on the past when I was in my childhood home, digging through mountains of junk and memories. Trying to push the thoughts away, I nodded at her, “I love you too. Get some rest.”

  Going to the door, I stepped out of the room and closed the door softly behind me. As my hand let go of the doorknob, a pain shot through my head. Groaning, I cradled my aching head. Jesus Christ, why wouldn’t this migraine leave me already? Taking a moment to recover, I slowly lifted my head and reluctantly opened my eyes. My eyes widened in horror as my gaze traveled up the hall. Every single shadow in the hallway was alive. Taking the shape of the objects they were shaped from, twisted black creatures stood facing me. It looked like they were made of black ink, thick and wet veins layering the creatures. It was the single most terrifying sight I had even seen. They had no eyes or other characteristics except for giant mouths with jagged teeth.

  I fell back in shock, scooting back on my bottom. What was going on? What was happening? Were these things what my mom saw? Were they real? The creatures didn’t move at all, but they were faced in my direction with their mouths agape. A door suddenly opened, making me flinch. The light from the doorway disintegrated one of the creatures before my very eyes. “Jase? You okay?” Lyle called to me. My eyes ripped away from the floor, looking up to my brother. Lyle was staring down at me with a concerned, puzzled look. I blinked rapidly, unable to process what to say. Looking back to the hallway, the creatures were all gone. My brow creased. But I had just seen those… those things. “You’re starting to worry me… Did you hit your head or something?” he asked as he slowly walked over to me.

  As I calmed down from the state of terror, I once again became aware of the pain in my head. “Ah, I’m fine, I’ve got another migraine. It hit me all of a sudden, and I lost my balance and fell,” I lied to Lyle as he pulled me to my feet. I didn’t need to worry him by explaining what really happened. He wouldn’t understand that it was just a mix of stress, lack of sleep, and a dash of substance abuse. I didn’t need him worrying about me. Once I found the stash and got Vinny and Roger off my back, things would get better. It would have been pointless for him to worry over me at the time.

  Lyle looked me over skeptically as I steadied on my feet. “Well… I know things are stressful and you can’t take it easy, but don’t kill yourself trying to find dad’s stash. We’ll get through this, okay? I’m almost done looking through my room, just in case he hid it in there when I wasn’t home. It would be just like him to plant it in my room, wouldn’t it? Just in case the cops ever showed up,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I’ll come help you finish the living room when I am done in here.”

  I nodded and patted his shoulder before turning to walk down the stairs. I was getting desperate for this nightmare to be over. So for the sake of my sanity and the well-being of my family, I hoped the stash was somewhere in the living room. After we were done searching the house… I don’t know where we would look. Walking back into the living room, I immediately reached for a pill bottle and my glass of rum. Just one more to get the edge off, I told myself. My head was throbbing, there was no way I was going to be able to continue my search if my head was hurting like that. Washing the pill down with a large gulp of liquor, I found the stereo in the living room under a mound of children’s picture books. Turning it on, I made sure the volume was low and allowed the soft sounds of an alternative rock station to fill the cramped living room. It was going to be a long, long night, might as well have some background music to make it go by a little faster.

  CHAPTER EIGHT: JUDGEMENT DAY

  The Next Day

  The world came back all at once. Bright lights, cold draft, hard floor, and extreme dizziness. Was I still drunk? God, I felt like crap. My eyes opened just a sliver to find myself laying in the middle of the living room, my organized piles surrounding me like great skyscrapers. I really needed to stop making a habit out of sleeping on the floor… With an enormous amount of effort, I pulled myself to my feet. My head swam, nearly knocking me back down. I was definitely still a little drunk.

  Making my way to the kitchen, I poured myself a glass of water and started to chug it. Hopefully, I could hydrate enough to keep the impending hangover at bay. As I knocked back the glass of cool water, my eyes caught sight of a note on the counter.

  Hey Jase,

  I tried to wake you, but you were sleeping pretty hard. Try not to stress out today. We’ll figure it out when I get home from work. Love ya.

  P.S. I couldn’t get mom to take her meds this morning. She was still sleeping when I left, though, so you may want to try again ASAP.

  Lyle was already at work? What… what time was it? My eyes jumped to the clock hanging above the dining room table. It was a half hour past noon—I had been asleep for ten hours. My heart plummeted into my stomach. I didn’t find the drugs or the money… Vinny and Roger said they would be by Monday. Oh my god, what were they going to do when they found me empty handed? I paced around the kitchen, my hands going into my hair. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t run off, my mother was home and I couldn’t leave her alone with two men coming to hunt me down. At least Lyle was at work, he wouldn’t be caught up in it if they came by.

  Knock. Knock. My eyes widened and looked toward the living room, freezing in mid-stride. No, no, no. They couldn’t already be here… What was I going to tell them? Knock. Knock. Knock. My heart was going to beat right out of my chest, wasn’t it? The noise in my ears returned; it definitely sounded like whispering, but I still couldn’t make out any words in particular. KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. My hands instinctively went over my ears, tears stinging my eyes as panic seized me entirely. I was completely trapped with no way out.

  “Open up, Gilmore! We know you are in there!” one of the men hissed through the front door. “Either you open up and we can talk about this, or we’ll knock down this door. And pal, you don’t want us to do that.”

  Well, that was that. I had to let them in. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I hurried into the living room with wide eyes fixated on the door. I had never had to face my fears head on like that—it was downright gut-wrenching. My hand shook uncontrollably as I reached for the doorknob and turned it. And of course, Vinny and Roger stood before me, both wearing sour expressions. “You got the stuff?” Vinny asked me, wasting no time to get to his point.

  “I-I haven’t found it yet. But if—”

  I was interrupted by Roger grabbing me by the collar of my shirt and hurling me into one of the shelves. They charged at me when my body hit the ground. My arms lifted to block my face the best I could as their boots continuously kicked into my sides, back, and chest. Roger then grabbed my hair at the top of my head, pulling me to my feet and slammed my head into one of the shelves. Blood gushed from my nose, and I could feel one of my eyes starting to swell. Once again, my head was slammed down. An excruciating pain captivated my head, the urge to vomit instantaneous as my tear-blurred vision danced around. My head was reared back, my arm pinned awkwardly behind me to keep me from squirming too much.

  Vinny sprung his fist back and then swung forward with all his might, giving my stomach a powerful blow. The wind was knocked out of m
e, and bile rose to my throat. “Did you think we were playing around, kid?” Vinny hissed. I only opened my mouth to give a response, but he hooked me right in the jaw when I did. My entire body was screaming in agony, the little buzz I woke up with not fending off any of the pain. Vinny grabbed my chin and held my face steady as he stared me down. “I need my shit, Jason. Where is my shit?” he growled.

  “I-I don’t know… I’ve been looking all weekend. I’ve searched the whole house—”

  “You reek of booze. You really expect me to believe anything coming out of your mouth?” Vinny questioned, tapping my cheek aggressively.

  “I swear I was. I haven’t seen my dad in nearly ten years, so I don’t know where he hides stuff. But if you can just give me more time, I’ll search all I can for it. I just need more time,” I pleaded with him, doing my best to hold back my tears. Vinny glanced up to Roger as if to see his reaction to what I said. Was he actually considering it? “You know where I live, you know where I work I’m assuming. It isn’t as though I can get away. And you’ll have to do the same steps I’m doing. Let me find it for you, please.”

  Vinny stared me down with his eyes narrowed. He contemplated for a long while, building my anxiety to new heights. I could barely think with how loud my heart was beating in my ears. “Alright, fine. But we’ll be watching you, Dr. Gilmore. And if you try any funny shit, we’ll come for the boy,” Vinny warned me in a dark tone. Roger then let me go. “We’ll be back to check in,” he added, taking his wallet out and handing me a business card. I glanced down on it, seeing it just said ‘Vinny’ with his cell phone number. Drug dealers had business cards? “You call me when you find the goods.”

  Then, they turned and walked out the door. I crumbled to the floor as soon as the door shut. My hands were on my head, tucking my chin into my chest as my resolve shattered. Tears poured down my cheeks, my nails digging into my scalp. I had never walked so close to death before, even with all of the beatings my father threw my way growing up. How in the hell was this my reality? How was I thrown into this drug scheme just because I showed up for my father’s funeral? Would have they come for me even if Lyle hadn’t told me about my father’s passing? I didn’t know. My head was in searing pain, from both a migraine and the trauma of being thrown around. After working so long and hard to get away from my past, to be my own person, my mortality and sanity were on the line because of my godforsaken father. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. I was never going to escape my father’s clutches no matter how hard I tried, was I? I was going to die, never to know what it was like to be completely free of my father.

  My entire body shook as I sobbed, hugging my knees to my torso. I felt so small, so powerless, not at all like a man. These guys had me in the palm of their hands, and they would crush the life from my body if they pleased. I had to find that damn stash, but where else could I look? What else was I supposed to do? And then, as if on a cue, my mother wailed from her room. God, I did not have it in me to go up there—I didn’t even have a grip on myself. But as her cries grew louder and louder, I knew I had to get it together at least long enough to calm her down. Taking several deep breaths, I managed to control my sobs, suppressing them the best I could. Standing up, I leveled myself and wiped the tears from my face. I knew I looked like shit, definitely having a black eye along with multiple gashes and bruises, but I didn’t have time to clean myself up. Taking one last deep breath, I headed up the stairs to my mother’s room.

  ~ ~ ~

  I sat at the dining table with an ice pack on my eye, drinking a glass of water as Lyle cooked dinner. “I just can’t believe they barged in and beat you up like that,” Lyle called over to me.

  “Well, that’s kind of exactly what they threatened to do,” I shrugged.

  “I know that, but I just… I can’t believe they actually did it. I figured they would be all talk. Well, I guess I was just hoping they would be,” he sighed.

  “Considering the big guy choked me out the first time I saw them, I had no doubt in my mind.”

  There was silence between us for a couple of minutes. I knew Lyle was feeling bad that the guys had jumped me, but he shouldn’t. It wasn’t like he was the one who hid twenty-five grand worth of cash and drugs from a dangerous drug dealer. “Did you manage to get mom to take her meds?”Lyle asked, breaking the silence.

  “No,” I sighed. “I can’t believe she already slipped back into this behavior. She willfully took them yesterday, but back to throwing fits and refusing medicine today.”

  “I guess it’s her way of coping with dad? For some reason preferring the chaos over dealing with the fact he is dead,” Lyle hypothesized. Well, he did make a good point.

  “Maybe she is having hallucinations about dad, and staying off her medicine is mom’s way of staying close to him,” I added to his theory.

  Lyle walked over to me with two plates in hand. The young man was still in his grocery store uniform, cooking as soon as he got home. I thanked Lyle when he sat a plate down in front of me. He sat down across from me then, glancing up to me before he took his first bite of spaghetti, “Did you find anything today on where dad could be hiding the stuff?”

  “I found his cell phone this afternoon. It was in the yard. I guess he dropped it on his way in before he OD’d,” I informed him. “I have it charging in the living room. Hopefully, there’s a recent call or something on there that will point us in the right direction.”

  Lyle let out a single chuckle, shaking his head, “We spent all weekend looking through the house, and the main clue was in the yard.”

  I gave a shrug, “Well think about it, we would have had to look through the house anyways. At least we know for sure it isn’t hidden anywhere in here.”

  “That’s true,” Lyle nodded, letting out a sigh. Silence fell between us yet again, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. I just didn’t want to keep talking about it and letting it consume me even more than it already was. Perhaps Lyle was on the same page, seeming to shrug it off as he looked up at me, “How do you like the pasta?”

  “It’s great,” I smiled weakly at him. “You sure you don’t want to go to culinary school?” I joked.

  Lyle chuckled, shaking his head, “Definitely not. I don’t really like cooking, but I don’t mind it. Spaghetti happens to be my specialty. Practice makes perfect, after all.”

  I laughed lightly at first, but it quickly died out, knowing he had only gotten so much practice because he had to care for himself. It was nice that he was able to make light of his situation at the time, but I knew soon the jokes wouldn’t be funny even to Lyle. Sure, this was just over spaghetti, but Lyle appeared to always brush off his problems like that when they came up in conversation. And they would turn from humored deflections to self-inflicted emotional wounds over time. I had gone down the exact same path mentally. And he would turn into a stressed out, damaged adult like me. I didn’t want that for him. Lyle deserved better than that. “Hey, Lyle…” I began, getting his attention. When his gray eyes met mine, I started again, “Not to switch topics, or put a damper on the mood, but I just want to get to the bottom of something so that it isn’t hanging over us—and I’m sure you know what it is.” Lyle’s eyes locked with mine and I took a deep breath. “Do you have any animosity towards me for leaving when we were younger? I feel guilty, and it’s been looming over me this whole time. Like I said at the hospital, I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I’ve regretted leaving you behind ever since. I know we talked about it before, but we just kind of mentioned it. We didn’t talk it out… I want us to be honest with one another.”

  Lyle stared at me in awe for a few seconds before he sat back in his chair and let out a sigh. “I was angry, really angry when I was a kid. Like I said before, I didn’t understand why you would leave me. And I stayed angry and bitter about it for years. But… when I got older, I started to understand. I mean, you went through eighteen years of it too so I get the ‘can’t-stand-another-minute-of-this�
�� feeling. Honestly, I don’t think I could have stayed if I were you. And you were only eighteen. You couldn’t exactly take me to college with you. So no, I’m not mad or upset or anything. I understand. I’m just glad to have you back in my life. I missed you.”

  I had to blink to keep back the tears. Lyle was so mature for his age, and compassionate beyond belief. Eight years of guilt was lifted from my shoulders. While I was still determined to make it up to him, I was also just glad to hear he didn’t harbor any negative feelings for me. “I missed you too… I’m sorry I brought it up, I just had to address it already,” I gave a weak smile as I sat back.

  “It’s okay. I could tell it was bothering you. You really need to learn to relax, just a little. You’re going to end up killing over if you stay so wound up.”

  I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. He wasn’t wrong.

  CHAPTER NINE: MOTHER OF ALL MELTDOWNS

  The Next Morning

  A scream echoed through the rooms of the house, jolting Lyle and me from sleep. Rushing across the hall, I flung the door open to my mother’s room. She was on the floor, clutching one of my father’s plaid shirts that I had boxed up when going through their bedroom. Tears were rushing down her face, her entire body shaking as she cried, “Why would you box up his things?!” my mother screamed at me. “He needs his clothes, Jason! Just because you are here, doesn’t mean you can replace him!”